Needing Validation

Validation is confirmation from others that you have impacted their life. It acknowledges your efforts and accomplishments, and recognizes that you are valued. Validation is a proclamation of acceptance and understanding and it is something that many people are desperate to receive. Some psychologists even go as far as to say that all humans crave validation and that it is one of our basic needs.

Validation doesn’t always have to come from an outside source though, we are all capable of fulfilling our need for validation ourselves. It might take a bit of work to change your frame of mind but by using affirmations and positive self talk instead of negativity you can re-train your mind.

But today I’d like to talk about how validation is a key component of a Soul Letter. Let’s all imagine being on the receiving end of a letter that validates, affirms, acknowledges, and proclaims how much you are loved, appreciated, and valued

Here are some tips on how to incorporate validation into your next Soul Letter:

1. Be specific. Instead of saying “I’ve always loved you”, try something more specific like “I’ve always loved the way you support and encourage me when I’m trying something new”.

2. Add more adjectives to your letter. An adjective is a word that describes an attribute or characteristic. For example if the person you are writing to is always helping others you could describe them as being generous, thoughtful, kind and giving.

3. Don’t be afraid to share specific memories in your letter. For example instead off saying “you always like to have fun”, you could write “you are always looking forward to the next adventure, like the day we saw a glider in the air and you decided to follow him back to the landing site to see if we could go up for a ride. What a great day that turned out to be.”

4. Write about something the person taught you. Did the person teach you how to be more patient, how to let go of your worries and live more in the moment? How to trust yourself or how to be more grateful for what you have? Be sure to mention these things in your letter. Again the more specific you can be about what they taught you the more sincere the letter will be.

Giving praise and validation is something we can practice in our daily lives too. Sometimes a few kind words is all that’s needed to help someone feel understood and appreciated.